Aces 25th Birthday, Part 1

My housemate Aces turned 25 on March 24th. He celebrated his birthday last weekend. Aces is a very popular guy and he is diligent at keeping in touch with all of his old friends from University. This is something which I must concede I often let slip in the hustle and bustle of life. As a result of this there is no one like Aces who can draw a good crowd for a birthday party. On Friday, it was a lads only night out. The crew consisted of all of our close friends from University: Tig, Bee, Casanova, Canadian Steak and B Hop. B Hop lived with Steak at Sheffield University and studied Law with me. He has also been a practitioner of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and fan of Mixed Martial Arts for longer than me. In fact, the first time that I met him was at my second ever Brazilian Jiu Jitsu lesson in Sheffield and B Hop made me tap from a rear naked choke during our spar.

Everyone had turned up to our house by 9.30pm and after some drinks and banter we made our way in taxis to The Fez Club in Putney. For the night out I wore a dark blue slim fitted shirt (Zara), diagonal striped blue and burgundy tie (Zara), dark fitted jeans (Diesel), slim white belt (Asos), pointy white shoes (Zara) and a dogtooth Blazer (Adam Lippes for Mango). I had been drinking whisky since seven 'o' clock, polishing off my bottle of Famous Grouse and making decent inroads into a new bottle of Johnnie Walker Black Label. This fact, combined with the feeling of hysteria experienced from seeing old friends, resulted in me being pretty rocked by the time I walked through the doors of The Fez Club.

We ran into trouble almost immediately as some huge drunk black guy approached the group for hugs. When he was turned down, he started to get aggressive, at one point putting Bee in a headlock. Steak called the bouncers who reluctantly evicted the guy from the premises. They had initially been reluctant to do so because they claimed that he was a regular who spent a lot of money. However, through Steak's persistence they eventually relented. Unfortunately, Steak (which he does have a tendency to do) continued to hound the security about this issue throughout the night which inevitably led to them becoming incredibly pissed off with him.

I bought rounds of drinks with Tig: double Jack Daniels and coke was the tipple of choice. Aces bought a round of Tequilas/Sambucas (I always go for the former) for the group as well and within the hour I was thoroughly pissed. Fez was unusually quiet for a Friday night and a scan of the room revealed that there were very few hot women. To get warmed up I started dancing with a short, slightly plump blond. She seemed to be attracted to me, although the feeling was by no means mutual. When I returned to my group I was instructed by Aces to try and get off with her as my birthday present to him.

Normally I would go into much more detail about a night out. However, dancing with this girl was my last memory of the night. The only thing that I can remember after that was telling the taxi to stop on the way back to my flat and jumping out to vomit on the side of the road. I was told that shortly after 1am I fell asleep on the sofas near the bar. I was informed the next morning that I ended up getting off with the target set for me by Aces. It is very rare for me not to remember pulling a girl but I was absolutely hammered. Steak and B Hop were wing-manning me by chatting to the rest of this woman's group. It turns out that the woman I pulled was a thirty-seven year old mother of three, which officially makes her the oldest woman that I have ever kissed. Coincidentally she also ended up getting off with Steak.